Category: Israel

“Rounds of escalation” is a common phrase in Israel. It is what we say every time the security situation deteriorates. Sometimes it refers to the situation in the west bank, and sometimes it is the security in Gaza. Lately, it’s both. On the one hand it is alarming, marking that it is becoming increasingly more dangerous to live your life. To remind you that you are not safe. On the other hand, it means that this is temporary, and it will pass. Eventually you could go back to live your life again. For us who grew up in the south of Israel, in the area that is closer to the Gaza Strip, it is a lifestyle.

It wasn’t always like this. When my grandparents were young in Beer Sheva, about 40 years ago, they remember the situation very differently. I still hear the stories about them going to the market in the main street of Gaza, or to the beautiful coastal strip for a swim. It all changed after the situation escalated. Terror organizations like Hamas and Jihad entered the area, and with the disengagement plan in 2005, they gained full control. After that, they started terrorizing the area. Both the cities of the south and the residents of Gaza. Jews and Muslims alike.

This is how my life has looked like for the past 20 years. With rounds of escalation, one after the other, every few months. They fire missiles towards us, we go to shelter, wait a few days\weeks until it is over, the army reacts, eventually a ceasefire fire is struck, and repeat. It doesn’t require a lot to ignite things in the area, and when things do escalate, the first question that comes up is who shot first. The argument about facts and responsibilities is important, but it’s not what this piece is about. What I do want to focus on is the experience of growing up in a conflicted environment, my childhood.

And again, at the end of June we saw another round of escalation. Two armed Hamas affiliated men opened fire, murdering 4 Israelis in a restaurant, causing a violent retaliation from settlers towards innocent others. These rounds of violence hurt every time. And all of us pay the price. We are stuck in a loop of rounds of escalation. Waiting for the current one to end, and for the next one to begin.

A lot of Israelis are not afraid of a successful Palestinian state. We are afraid that it wouldn’t be. That it will deteriorate to chaos, enabling terror organizations to arm themselves and fire missiles to all of Israel, north to south, and not just from Gaza. But we can’t give up on the dream of a peaceful life. We must work for it, actual groundwork, and hope that one day a fitting solution in the right conditions will emerge.

Asur Le’abed Tikvah – We can’t lose hope.

Watching Israel from afar feels very strange to me. As someone that used to be very involved with the happenings, being on the sideline makes me uncomfortable. At the same time, there is slight relief. For the first time ever, I got to experience a military operation that didn’t affect me physically. I didn’t have to go into shelter every few minutes or to consider showering because an alarm might start in the middle.

But what does that have to do with Pride? Keep reading if you want to find out.

The months of April and May are always full in Israel. Ramadan, the Yoms, Jerusalem Day, Eurovision… everything takes place at the same time. It is a time when we are both proud to be citizens of our country and have constant reminders of its imperfection. And so is the relationship of Israel with its LGBTQ community. For June, which is pride month, I wanted to highlight that relationship and do so while sharing what it’s like living in Israel today.

Gay marriage is not allowed in Israel. As a Jewish state, it was decided once that marriage in Israel must go through the Rabbinate, which is the Jewish authority national institution. Through the years, there were several battles over that decision. Several groups participated, each one with its reasons. Some did it for LGBTQ rights, some did it for secular marriage, and some did it for interfaith marriage.

An historic decision made by the Israeli Supreme Court, created an opening for a resolution. Civil marriages can still not be performed on Israeli land, but if you enter Israel married, the state will acknowledge that. This created the phenomenon of Cyprus weddings, which were not only an opportunity for multi-faith and same sex weddings, but also a gateway for young couples to escape their families during stressful wedding times (and yes, my wife and I considered that). And it has gone on for 30 years now, a decision to avoid a decision forced the public to adapt and create alternatives. A common thing in Israel.

A surprising progress came during COVID – via the internet. Now, being forced to marry without your closest 700 people (a typical Israeli wedding… by contrast, ours was very small with only 250 people), an alternative has popped up, Zoom weddings by the state of Utah. Yes, I know, several questions come to mind, the first one being “Utah?” But so is reality, and that’s how the first civil marriage was conducted on Israeli soil, following a decision to avoid a decision.

This is just one example of the complicated relationship between the state of Israel and the Pride community. It’s progressing but remaining far behind. One of the most colorful, beautiful, and prominent LGBTQ communities in the world still lacks its basic rights. Israel is the home of one of the largest pride parades in the world, and one that does not allow equal adoption possibilities. And so is Israel in all matters, dealing with everything at once, making small indecisive steps. And to fully understand a certain aspect, you need to be ready to fully dive in, headfirst. 

As Israel’s government holds up its efforts with the Judicial reform to focus on the holidays and regroup, so do I. This month’s Shnekel is a bit longer than usual, but for good reason. It’s difficult for me to write about it, so I hope you will bear with me.

The Yoms, as we call them, are these couple of weeks where we get together to commemorate Israel’s Holocaust Remembrance Day (Yom HaShoah), Israel’s Memorial Day (Yom HaZikaron) and Israel’s Independence Day (Yom Ha’atzmaut). The combination is always complicated; a celebration mixed with remembrance; happiness mixed with grief; joy mixed with bitterness.

Recently, we had a great program with Avi Jorisch, a wonderful speaker who gave a talk about Israeli innovation and made a reference about the Yoms. He said that Yom HaShoah serves as a reminder of the cost for not having a country for the Jewish people, Yom HaZikaron reminds us of the cost for having a country for the Jewish people, and Yom Ha’atzmaut serves as an opportunity to be grateful for it. That didn’t always resonate with me. How can you not be overwhelmed with so many emotions all at once. How can you distinguish happiness from sorrow, and switch so rapidly from grieving over lost loved ones to celebrations? I’m definitely still processing that mixture.

During my military service I was a logistics officer, I did an extra year and a half and commanded supply convoy. But before I became an officer, as a soldier, I was part of Operation “Protective Edge,” Tzuk Eitan in Gaza, 2014. There, on one sunny summer morning, a missile hit my unit, causing multiple casualties. Eight people died that day, and we had to move on and continue what we did for that day, that week, even that month. I spent two months on the border of Gaza.

It took me quite a while to recover from it, and to talk about it. That was only two months out of the four and a half years I served, I did so much more than just that, I participated in a lot of educational work, helped young adults of all religions with income problems to complete their service and gain a profession from it. But those two months took the longest to overcome. It still does. And Yom Hazikaron serves as a constant reminder for that.  

There is a point here, I promise you. Most people are probably not going to experience that, To feel first-hand the toll, and no one should. But sometimes it feels like because you didn’t go through that sacrifice, you are not “allowed” to participate with Israel’s current event, to be heard. It feels like you don’t have the legitimacy to do so. There will always be people who are going to make you feel that way, and that’s a challenge for a relationship.

But there is a way. Through acknowledgments and appreciation, we can still talk about our shared future as the Jewish people. We need to talk about how every action taken by Israel effects the Jewish world while still acknowledging the toll Israel has paid and is still paying every day for security. My very smart wife once told me, “Ze lo Bimkom,” it is not overlapping. Pain is felt in Israel, and pain felt in the diaspora are both painful. It shouldn’t be about who suffered more.

And like the Yoms, we need to endure that conversation with mixed feelings. We need to feel sorrow, but also hope, to enjoy but always remember, together, we have a bright future.

Where is Israel heading? That is the question many ask these days. And it’s getting harder and harder to answer. The reality in Israel has always been unexpected, and now even more so. This week, we saw a major escalation when Israel’s minister of Defense was fired for objecting to the proposed judicial reform, resulting in a national strike by major organizations, private companies, and city councils. Even the airport was shut down.

It’s hard to watch Israel being torn apart. What is clearer now is that this is no longer solely about the judicial reform; this is a battle for Israel’s future. A battle that is violent and brutal, but necessary; a battle to define what Israel needs the most – a structure and a constitution. A document that is rigid, but crucial. One that will finally define the nature of Israel as a Jewish democratic state.

And with the future so dim, I wanted to talk about hope, and that’s because every crisis is an opportunity. And this is, by all means, a crisis. Global Jewry has decided to take a stand and speak up in public. Every day, more Jewish organizations are speaking their mind and helping shape Israel’s future. This is an opportunity to revisit the relationship between Israel and global Jewry, led by the American Jewish community, to be an honest, critical, relevant, and hopeful relationship.

Now, more than ever, global Jewry is willing to speak, and Israelis are willing to listen. And with that I say – do it. Speak your mind, help shape Israel in the image you believe it can be. Together, we can make sure it will continue to be the home of the Jewish people.

And if you want to talk about, or hear more about it, you are welcome to join my weekly Israel update & conversation session at the JCC, or just reach out to me personally.

The past few days have been devastating for me and for all the people I know.

Between the recent horrible Terror acts against innocent Israelis, wild violent riots against Arab residents in Israel, the National “Day of Hate” here in the states, and the huge protests (in Israel and the United States) against the Israeli government’s policies, it’s hard to maintain a positive perspective.

I don’t usually remain speechless, it rarely happens. But the past weekend left me overwhelmed. With the background of a mixed family, both in Jewish denomination and in culture, with a variety of political views, I always considered myself to be centered, the mid ground between ideologies. So did a lot of my friends and families, but all of them woke up this morning hurting. Hurting to see Israel being pulled apart.

Coming here to the US and seeing how polarized it is, made me appreciate the ability people have, to see the other side – both here and in Israel. Something that nowadays feels more distant than ever. The best that we can do right now is to offer a helping hand, a comforting word, and a safe space to talk about these issues.

For those of you who want that, I encourage you to reach out, and ask for it. I’m going to start Israel updates discussion sessions, The Israel Connection, here at the J. All are welcome to join us for the conversation about current events and select topics of interest. See details below for the weekly day, time, and location.

Apart from that, you can always reach out to me personally, and we can talk about anything.

It’s never been easy to be Jewish, but when things are most difficult, that is when we need each other most.